Last summer, I had a nasty hankering for a completely stock flattie. I had been scouring my online sources when I stumbled across a '48 CJ-2A listed for $2,000 in the California high desert. The photos looked good, he said it was all stock and running, and he claimed to have paperwork. He also pulled a sleazy salesman trick on me that got the desired effect: "A guy is on his way from Arizona to get it right now. First come gets it." I had my trailer loaded and was racing to his meth lab before you could say, "Bad idea."
Let me paint a picture for you. I arrive at his hovel in the methamphetamine production capitol of the world alone, driving a decent tow rig, pulling a nice trailer, and holding $2,000 in my pocket. I don't have a pistol, a baseball bat, or even a butter knife, and my only means of self-preservation is a cell phone that doesn't have a prayer of getting a service signal. The Jeep is in the backyard of his shack, surrounded by a chain-link fence. A not-too-friendly looking pit bull with one chewed ear and a gimpy right eye is roaming in and out of the only shade provided for it: the shadow cast by the Jeep. As I step out of my pickup, a 300-pound, 6-foot-4-inch, nasty, greasy Big Biker Boy appears from the screened porch and extends a filthy, scabby paw for me to shake. Mmmm, Purell.
We slide through the fence, and the hell hound makes a lunge for me. Thankfully, I caught a glimpse of the rope around the dog's neck, so I didn't scream like a sorority girl in a haunted house. He kicks the dog in the ribs, grabs the rope, and ties it off on a water spigot near a dead tree. Uh, animal cruelty. Good times.
 The Omix wiring harness (PN...  The Omix wiring harness (PN 643261) is a lifesaver to the crimping and soldering impaired. Each wire is cut to length and features stock-type terminals and cloth sheathing for a period-correct look and feel. |  Don't overlook the small stuff....  Don't overlook the small stuff. Even the throwout bearing fork on the Bindle Bucket was hammered. If you see me on the trail, ask me how I ruined two sets of Spicer 18 twin stick shifters and one front output housing while swapping T-cases. Luckily, I keep a small arsenal of Spicer 18 parts on hand in my shed. |  All but one of the T-case...  All but one of the T-case to driveshaft nuts came off. I needed to cut off the fourth nut and replace the factory studs with Grade 5 bolts. As I pulled the rear driveshaft flange off to remove the drum assembly, a gallon or so of water poured from the T-case. Crap! |
I start to give the Jeep a quick walk around, but out of the corner of my eye, I catch movement in the rusted, screened-in porch. As I contemplate an escape route, I keep one eye on the figure inside and make small talk about the Jeep. "Oh, yeah, it's got a 12-volt conversion . . . (inner monologue: when the shotgun appears, throw the cash one way and vault over the fence the other way. He'll never catch you, and if you get around the corner of that neighbor's house 50 yards away, you'll be out of effective buckshot range) . . . You say your dad did all the bodywork? Interesting."
Fearing the worst and just wanting to get out of there with my skin intact as quickly as possible, I heard myself saying, "I'll take it." The rational portion of my brain was too busy keeping track of the person in the porch to intervene. As I handed over the cash and Big Biker Boy forked over a ratty wad of ripped paper he called the title, the dude's old lady-let's call her Party Mama-came out from the porch. In a toothless, tongue-slapping dialog, she said something to Big Biker Boy, but I was too busy trying the key to translate. A dead battery stymied my quick escape and my tow rig was out of jumper-cable range, so I had to wait while they searched for the "keys" to their car so we could jump it. A quick twist of a screwdriver later, and he fired up his truck and jumped the flattie's battery.
Although the engine fired up, I quickly noticed some real bad juju under the hood. First, the stock fuel pump was bypassed and a parts store electric was rigged in. The Jeep wouldn't stay running unless you kept the rpm up, but a bad sputter and white smoke out of the exhaust signaled bad news. A quick pull of the dipstick showed an oil milkshake, and the stock radiator was scaled up and looked clogged. I dropped the tranny into First, and the Jeep lunged forward with much grinding. I looked over at Big Biker Boy, who had earlier told me he frequently drove it around. Sure, dude, whatever. I made it onto the trailer, strapped it down, and hightailed it outta there thinking I'll never do that again.
 The replacement radiator from...  The replacement radiator from 4 Wheel Drive Hardware dropped right in place of the original. The stock water-pump bearing was hammered and didn't spin freely. Naturally, one of the water-pump bolts snapped off upon removal. I simply installed the new pump with the remaining three bolts and a lot of silicone. Hasn't leaked yet. |  The Jeep couldn't be rolled...  The Jeep couldn't be rolled around by hand, even with the front drive flanges removed. Something in the front axle was seizing up, so I figured it had a busted Rzeppa joint. Yup. Judging by the mangled collection of axle pieces, the gouged knuckle, and mangled bronze bushing, Big Biker Boy drove it around for a while before removing the flanges. |  One of the few things that...  One of the few things that went right during the whole 2A deal was the fact that the new Omix replacement axleshaft assembly slid right in place of the old, mangled unit. It took a little while to clean out all the debris and repack the knuckle with grease, but at least I know one part of the drivetrain is solid again. |