Staff Advice
I am writing in regards to a lot of mail recently telling you how much your magazine sucks. Well, I'm here to say that the magazine is fantastic. What is lacking, however, is the talent that writes for my beloved Jeep rag.First off, let's talk about Christian "Cancer Patient" Hazel. You guys should really stop running pictures of yourselves in the magazine. Hazel doesn't belong on the cover of a Jeep magazine, he belongs at the Make-A-Wish Foundation hoping that one day Bill Cosby will take him ice fishing.As for John "Castro District" Cappa, nice letter on your dating situation. I'm sure it convinced everyone. To tell you the truth, I have 10-year-old issues of Hustler that aren't in the closet as deep as Cappa is. This is a Jeep magazine, not some third-rate Dear Abby column, so keep your cover stories to yourself and out of the printed pages.As for the assorted rest, what the hell is up with these guys with names like Trasborg, Sweetser, Tori Tellem, Marko Radielovic, Pavelko, Quinn Moss-Pultz, Mirko CroCop Filipovic, Rodderick Von Figglesworth, Aleksander Emlivishviliskikischviliski? First off, I can't pronounce half of these names. Feel free to limit the number of damn vowels in your name to an even bakers dozen. Second, what's the deal with all these foreigners writing for a Jeep mag? If these guys aren't foreigners, I hope they're all stage names. Even so, they are so painfully bad that even Vivid Video would be embarrassed.Who the hell is this Dr. Vern character anyway? Is he somebody's uncle? Did he used to write for Jp, but the editors decided stories about ED pills and adult Pampers just weren't cutting it anymore, so they moved him to a half page mixed in the back with the advertisements instead of outright firing him? Seriously, I cannot figure this out.And Bree, well, lets just say I never thought you could catch the herpes just from reading a magazine.Ah, hell, what am I saying? I love the magazine. You guys do great work. It's the only place I can go to find information on buildups of my kind of Jeeps. (I can't afford a brand-new blue Dodge Hemi and then put 20 inches of lift and 44s on it. I guess I'm just not that "Xtreme"). Lets get more CJ-7s. Less Libertys. More Cappa and Hazel. Less people with weird names and boring, unfunny articles. More Ahnold. Less DiFi. More shadetree. Less corporate. And more Bree, less Bree's clothing.So to Cancer Patient Christian, Castro Cappa, Bree the Walking VD, and the rest of the gang at Jp Magazine, keep up the good work.Shlomo "The Truth" GoldbergFresno, California
Shop Popular
First off, you guys ROCK! (literally).I am one of the avid readers who enjoys reading the responses you get from Mailbag. I cant believe all these smacktards threatening to cancel subscriptions due to celebrating the female form along with the best damn rockcrawling and off-road machines on the planet, Jeeps, of course! Since you've added Bree to your magazine, I've gotten three co-workers in the shop who are going to subscribe now to compensate for the loss of others. Thank your for a great magazine and, well, Bree!Keep up the great work and, hey, how about an all-Bree bikini tutorial issue? NickNorthern California
It's nice to "ROCK," since most of the other off-road mags only "SMOOTH JAZZ."
We're Lonely. Please Send Us Letters!
Apparently we've scared off all of our pen pals. How come no one writes us anymore? We'd really like some friends. Tell us we suck. Tell us Christian Hazel should wear a wig you made from tennis-ball fur. Tell us to do an all-Bree bikini issue. Tell us anything; we're desperate for attention! Write to Jp Magazine, Be John's Pen Pal, 6420 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90048 or e-mail john.cappa@primedia.com.