Jeep Jamboree (visit www.jeepjamboreeusa.com for details and date changes).
March 24-26, Llano, Texas
April 7-9, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
April 21-23, Seymour, Missouri
April 28-30, St. Francisville, Louisiana
May 5-7 Amarillo, Texas and Marshall County, Kentucky
May 17-20, Fallon, Nevada
May 19-21, Big Bear Lake, California and Hammonton, New Jersey
June 2-4, Blakesee, Pennsylvania and Nelson County, Virginia
June 9-11, Chinle, Arizona and Slade, Kentucky
June 16-18, Drummond Island, Mississippi
June 23-25, Bradford, Pennsylvania
July 28-30, Snowshoe, West Virginia
August 11-13, Rubicon Trail, California
August 25-27, Ouray, Colorado and Rubicon Trail, California
September 8-10, Hazleton, Pennsylvania and Crandon, Wisconsin
September 15-17, Elko, Nevada and Red River, New Mexico
September 22-24, Deadwood, South Dakota and Monticello, New York
September 29-October 1, Bethel,Massachusettes
October 6-8, Williamsburg, Kentucky and Las Vegas, Nevada
October 13-15, Murphy, North Carolina and French Lick, Indiana
October 20-22, Moab, Utah
October 27-29, Hot Springs, Arkansas
* The Liberty and Wrangler will be part of the 300,000 or so 2005 vehicles with the six-cylinder and auto tranny being voluntarily recalled for possibly having a missing or improperly staked plug inside the transmission, which means the shifter won't go into Park. Use the parking brake.
* T-top for the '07 Wrangler? People are sayin' ...
* Gladiator soon may be more than a Russell Crowe movie. The Jeep pickup concept continues to sound like it's inching -- slowly -- toward becoming reality.
* There's a Web site if you care about the Grand Cherokee SRT: www.drivesrt.com.
We won't go into detail about how someone stumbled upon a product called Fast Women, but the find was definitely a distraction from the matter at, uh, hand. Cue the porn music, Dirk Diggler! Just like how women are drawn to cool vehicles and can make nice accessories for them, they can also be drawn to a model car (or so the concept behind the product goes).
Now, we all know that convincing your lady friend to get scantily clad is one thing, but using the "art" argument for why she should pose next to a bite-size toy is another (good luck). That's why God created man, who then created 1:18-scale girls that come pre-named (Sabrina, Luscious, and Mitzi, among them) and pre-posed (not church-going positions). While we're getting sick of running Hummer photos on these pages, we'll make an exception in this case because they hadn't yet snapped a Jeep. You should be able to find the Fast Women at your local hobby store, but also check out www.fastwomen4u.com for the details, the contortions, the likes and dislikes, the body specs, or to buy. It'll cost you around $10 per girl (a phrase we'll probably never utter again).
Just when we think we've heard of everything, we realize we have a ways to go. First up on our journey toward no surprises left in life? Knowing of the existence of the Dashboard Dining Index. It's an actual study that rates the messiness, convenience, and portability of "on-the-go" menu items at fast-food joints. The true test comes when the passenger tries to eat the item under investigation while the vehicle is rolling. A winner was named from the cow/tuna/chicken chew-out. Eighty-five percent claimed Taco Bell's Crunchwrap Surpreme could be eaten with one hand, thereby earning the corresponding -- and unfortunately named -- "one-napkin" rating, as a result of the sealed, hexagon-shaped tortilla that let nothing escape. Its presentation in a lap-sized box further helped the cause. It was a limited-edition food that will become a permanent fixture on the menu sometime in early 2006. Now, if only someone would wrap up ribs or spaghetti in a fancy, traveling package.