Rockcrawling is boring. It's the only motorsport I know of where speed is generally frowned upon and where a four-cylinder can beat out a V-8. You almost don't need a gas pedal. In fact, many so-called extreme wheelers boast about overly low and useless crawl ratios that move their 4x4s slower than a bachelor party leaving a strip club. Don't believe me? Get behind some Toyota trucks the next time you go on a trail ride. You'll swear they don't have throttle cables or more than one forward gear in their transmissions. This trend should have long since departed, much like RTI ramp score bragging and Cabbage Patch Kids.
There are so many more entertaining kinds of off-roading, especially if you're a spectator. Mud, sand, and even desert racing and prerunning are much more entertaining from the sidelines and from the driver seat. Rockcrawling pales in comparison. Ever been to a rockcrawling competition? It's like watching a clump of Crisco melt on the sidewalk in the summer. The comps used to be cool, but then again, so were Vanilla Ice and acid-wash jeans.
Today, nearly all the rigs competing look the same, like some sort of moon car that resembles no currently manufactured 4x4. And they're pushed, pulled, and prodded along by a pesky spotter on a leash. Rock races are a little better, but there are still too many slow sections on the courses and none of the competitions I have seen reward the one thing that makes racing exciting: horsepower! You shouldn't be able to win an Unlimited class race with a four-cylinder engine.
The Nordic people have it way better than us with their Formula 4x4 competitions. Now that's a spectator sport! You may have seen 'em on television, but you can check 'em out online too at www.4x4offroads.com. And for some more really cool high-horse videos, check out www.formulaoffroad.se.
Why don't we have this kind of competition here in the states? These overseas horsepower-junkies mate U.S. big- and small-block V-8 power and trannies to American-made 1-ton axles and toss it all in a Jeep-like chassis. They add up to (and over) 1,000 hp and end up with an angry nitrous-injected, dirt-flinging 4x4 that will scoot up a cliff like an insurgent fleeing a U.S tank crew and hydroplane across a pond like a fish fired from a cannon. We have the American know-how and components to build these things here, so where are they?
If I have to see one more Dana 60 front axle or Rockwell wasted on a Toyota truck, or any four-cylinder for that matter, I'll puke up a shoe. Don't get me wrong, I like four-cylinder Jeeps for light trail rigs and commuters. But I think it's time to move on to something besides rockcrawling. And it's certainly time to move forward from rockcrawling competition. I want a U.S. Formula 4x4 competition! I wanna smell the sweet scent of burnt race gas. I wanna feel the rumble of 1,000-plus hp being used recklessly at a competition, and I want to see it win.-John Cappa